{"id":108230,"date":"2026-10-02T14:53:14","date_gmt":"2026-10-02T18:53:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/?p=108230"},"modified":"2026-10-13T19:38:38","modified_gmt":"2026-10-13T23:38:38","slug":"coming-to-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/2026\/10\/coming-to-america\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming to America"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\">[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.prod.r53.tablethotels.com\/media\/ecs\/global\/magazine\/story-images\/20261003-coming-to-america\/2dads-statue-of-liberty.jpg\" alt=\"Two Dads\" width=\"970\" height=\"auto\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>Two British dads visit the Big Apple with their young daughter in tow, worried about how she\u2019ll behave, wondering how they\u2019ll be received, and remembering they have nothing to be ashamed of.<\/h4>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_separator style=&#8221;dashed&#8221; css=&#8221;&#8221;][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=&#8221;1\/12&#8243;]<aside class=\"gap cf\" style=\"height:10px;\"><\/aside><a class=\"image_link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/author\/kevin-pittuck-bennett\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"220\" height=\"218\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small.png\" class=\"thb_image  left  retina_size attachment-full\" alt=\"\" title=\"Kevin Pittuck-Bennett-small\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small.png 220w, https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small-135x134.png 135w, https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/Kevin-Pittuck-Bennett-small-97x96.png 97w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 220px) 100vw, 220px\" \/><\/a><aside class=\"gap cf\" style=\"height:10px;\"><\/aside>[\/vc_column][vc_column width=&#8221;11\/12&#8243;]<aside class=\"gap cf\" style=\"height:10px;\"><\/aside>[vc_column_text css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1720455088433{background-color: #ffffff !important;}&#8221;]\n<p style=\"font-size: 14px;\"><strong>By <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/author\/kevin-pittuck-bennett\/\">Kevin Pittuck-Bennett<\/a><\/strong><br \/>\n<em>Writer, Photographer, Fireplace Contributor<\/em><\/p>\n[\/vc_column_text]<aside class=\"gap cf\" style=\"height:10px;\"><\/aside>[\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_separator style=&#8221;dashed&#8221; css=&#8221;&#8221;]<aside class=\"gap cf\" style=\"height:40px;\"><\/aside>[\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text css=&#8221;&#8221;]\n<p style=\"font-size: 20px; line-height: 28px;\"><strong>Part One: <em>Welcome to New York<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For my husband\u2019s 40th birthday, I spent \u00a33,500 on tickets to fly us to his favorite city in the world.<\/p>\n<p>His reaction? \u201cCouldn\u2019t we have just stayed close to home?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Michael loves New York. He feels at home there, strutting the pavements like the wannabe fashion model he is while nobody bats an eyelid. His concern was our toddler daughter, Peggy. He didn\u2019t feel a long flight and a city break were suitable and, worse, suggested I hadn\u2019t considered her when booking it. I had, of course. I just didn\u2019t share his fears. At least not those ones. New York is a huge, multicultural city with a gazillion families so there\u2019ll be things for kids to do, right? Besides, she can play happily for hours with an empty box.<\/p>\n<p>Our first test was the 7-hour flight from the UK. Peggy behaved. Ish. She got wriggly and bored near the end, stumbling up and down the aisles like a drunken aunt at Christmas, ping-ponging off passengers, slamming someone\u2019s laptop shut, knocking on the toilet door\u2026 and somehow the cabin pressure turned her milk bottle into a sprinkler system. I had to apologize to the row behind me and ask if they were lactose-intolerant. Peggy didn\u2019t make much noise at least, but we worked hard for that. The cabin crew noticed. They handed us some miniatures somewhere over the Atlantic.<\/p>\n<p>Unbeknownst to Michael, however, I had some anxieties I\u2019d not shared with him.<\/p>\n<p>In the weeks before we travelled, British news carried increasing reports on LGBT+ rights in America being rolled back. I\u2019d asked staff in Heathrow if they thought two dads traveling with a child might encounter problems, asked cabin crew the same thing, and both seemed surprised by the question. They assured me we wouldn\u2019t\u2026 but I wasn\u2019t entirely convinced.<\/p>\n<p>We were traveling with a raft of paperwork. Our surrogacy documents. A letter from the lady who carried Peggy. Another from the clinic. Our passports all shared the same fabulous-but-awkward double-barreled surname so common in gay marriages. I was prepared for a fight if we had to prove ourselves a family.<\/p>\n<p>I am well aware that some people have a problem with two men being together. Give those people clipboards and responsibilities and it can cause all kinds of problems. I could deal with questions, but the thought of someone challenging our right to be Peggy\u2019s parents in front of her, or \u2014 in the darkest reaches of my imagination \u2014 separating her from us\u2026 was terrifying.<\/p>\n<p>Her buggy somewhere in the hold, I carried Peggy towards an enormous immigration queue at JFK and waited nervously.<\/p>\n<p>Some passengers tried to get our attention. That didn\u2019t feel good. Staff had spotted us with a toddler and wanted to pull us out of the line\u2026 But it was to open a new kiosk and speed us through! A sigh of relief. No one wanted the extra paperwork. No one wanted the letters.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWelcome to America!\u201d I sang.<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #6f4685;\"><em><strong>Explore our picks for <a style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: #6f4685;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/en\/nyc-hotels\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the best boutique hotels in New York City<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.prod.r53.tablethotels.com\/media\/ecs\/global\/magazine\/story-images\/20261003-coming-to-america\/2dads-stonewall.jpg\" alt=\"Two Dads\" width=\"970\" height=\"auto\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-size: 20px; line-height: 28px;\"><strong>Part Two: <em>Stonewall<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We had a list of tourist essentials to cross off but an 18-month-old who couldn\u2019t read it and might not play ball. The trick, we discovered, was to exhaust her early so she\u2019d be keen to stay in her buggy later.<\/p>\n<p>The High Line is a perfect example. Ten meters above traffic, she could run freely and babble at passers-by without us worrying about roads. She managed about a mile before asking to be carried. She went in her buggy instead, as we reminded ourselves we were in charge.<\/p>\n<p>That gave us the opportunity to visit the birthplace of the modern gay-rights movement, the Stonewall Inn. We sat on the benches outside near the statues. As I attempted to take a nice family photo with the rainbow flags and the Inn behind us, it occurred to me what that photo meant\u2026 and why some of the baggage we\u2019d brought to America was mine alone.<\/p>\n<p>I grew up gay in the 90s and spent much of that time desperately hoping I wasn\u2019t. This was the era of government-sponsored AIDS campaigns with giant tombstones and Section 28, a law that stopped schools discussing anything too \u2018fabulous\u2019. As a teen, I was so disgusted by my secret that I lied about it in my own diary in case someone read it. A proud gay, I was not.<\/p>\n<p>Even after it all came painfully spilling out, marriage wasn\u2019t on the cards. It wasn\u2019t even legal until Michael and I had celebrated our 10th anniversary, and children hadn\u2019t been an option for most of that. Michael, though, had always wanted to be a dad and, over time, I opened my heart to the possibility. Soon we were with a surrogacy agency.<\/p>\n<p>Now here I was, standing proudly outside Stonewall with my husband and daughter.<\/p>\n<p>I looked at the photo on my phone and wondered what younger me would have made of it. At 13, I\u2019d have been horrified my gay phase still hadn\u2019t finished. At 16, I\u2019d have been amazed that my secret was out and I still looked happy. At 20, I\u2019d probably have been surprised I was giving marriage and fatherhood a go after the disastrous examples I\u2019d grown up with.<\/p>\n<p>Then I looked at it again. Peggy was leaning out the buggy and licking a railing. Not one for a frame.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.prod.r53.tablethotels.com\/media\/ecs\/global\/magazine\/story-images\/20261003-coming-to-america\/2dads-brooklyn-bridge.jpg\" alt=\"Two Dads\" width=\"970\" height=\"auto\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-size: 20px; line-height: 28px;\"><strong>Part Three: <em>Bringing It All Back Home<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Her legs still tired, we were able to wheel her about Manhattan ticking off most of our sightseeing \u2018musts\u2019, even taking a water taxi to DUMBO just to walk back via the Brooklyn Bridge. Peggy coped brilliantly. Her dads less so. And that became something of a theme.<\/p>\n<p>Central Park Zoo again exhausted the small person, allowing us to load her up, finish the park and nip up 30 Rock. A reluctant ride on the subway chipped away another anxiety. We\u2019d been told not to make eye contact with anyone \u2018just in case\u2019, but Peggy didn\u2019t know that. By the time we reached our stop half the carriage was singing Ms Rachel.<\/p>\n<p>As we stumbled about the Empire State Building observation deck with a toddler on a lead, Michael admitted that maybe his nerves around bringing Peggy to New York were unfounded. That\u2019s not to say the trip was always easy. There were tantrums, from toddler and parents. A downpour that meant hair-drying nappies in our hotel room. Jet lag that occasionally moved Peggy into our bed, where she slept sideways as Michael and I clung to the edges. The Statue of Liberty was mostly an argument about her having to wear a hat. Sometimes Daddy or Papa had to split off just to get anything out of it.<\/p>\n<p>Will she remember the trip? Probably not. But we will.<\/p>\n<p>Peggy is already starting to realize her family is different. She will walk into a room, any room, and announce \u201cI have two daddies!\u201d with gusto. For now, this fact makes her feel special rather than less-than. My responsibility now is to make sure she never learns to be ashamed to speak those words.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps New York taught both her dads something. Michael learnt that he can still strut his stuff with a toddler in tow. And I realized I needed to \u2018unlearn\u2019 some of the self-protecting behaviors I\u2019d built over the years. Because our instincts don\u2019t just disappear when the law finally catches up.<\/p>\n<p>But for now it is enough that Daddy and Papa took her to New York. Was it sometimes stressful? Sure, but sometimes it\u2019s stressful taking her to the shops. Would we do it again? Damn right, and with Michael\u2019s blessing this time. Which has the added bonus of confirming I was right and he was wrong.<\/p>\n<p>And I don\u2019t get many of those.<\/p>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=&#8221;20px&#8221;]<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"thb_image  left   \" src=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/magazine\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/icons8-fireplace-90-20x20.png\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" alt=\"icons8-fireplace-90\" title=\"icons8-fireplace-90\" loading=\"lazy\" \/>[vc_column_text]\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #6f4685;\"><em><strong>Explore our picks for <a style=\"text-decoration: underline; color: #6f4685;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tablethotels.com\/en\/nyc-hotels\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the best boutique hotels in New York City<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.prod.r53.tablethotels.com\/media\/ecs\/global\/magazine\/story-images\/20261003-coming-to-america\/2dads-high-line.jpg\" alt=\"Two Dads\" width=\"970\" height=\"auto\" \/><\/p>\n<div style=\"height:1px;border-top:3px double #ccc;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:60px;display:block;clear:both\"><\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two British dads visit the Big Apple with their young daughter in tow, worried about how she\u2019ll behave, wondering how they\u2019ll be received, and remembering they have nothing to be ashamed 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